break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
