Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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