my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize