Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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