i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
