Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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