Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
