She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
