it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
