He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
