Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
