You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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