You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
