Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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