Yo dont text me then not text me
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
