He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
