we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
