it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
