Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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