Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
