his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i believe in u and ur pee
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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