So drunk its hurt
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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