in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize