My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
