Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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