my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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