Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
