Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
