Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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