I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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