Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
