This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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