He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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