I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
