Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Hippo gnu deer
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
