So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
