for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
