omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
