And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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