Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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