its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
