after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
