I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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