Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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