i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
