Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he puts the penis in happiness.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
