i just had sex bonerless
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
