My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
