i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
