I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Randomize
